Marking Time...

Longtime readers of this blog may remember that I had two step-siblings, both significantly older than I. The younger of these died not quite five years ago. His sister, whom I first met at five and a half when her father was dating my mother, is still very much alive and has raised three children and is now a grandmother. She has remained a constant presence in my life and makes no secret of her fondness for me. She married when I was ten and her husband was no less fond of me. Though we differed greatly in age and worldview, neither ever stinted on praise for my accomplishments, recognition of my humor or appreciation of my brain. I have been a guest in their homes since my teens and it was they who insisted on giving me a celebration following the end of graduate school   and a fiftieth birthday party. Seventeen years ago, while visiting and caring for her mother who had had several strokes, stepsister drove down to my mother's memorial service, renewing our almost lifelong bond.

When her brother was dying from complications of a major stroke, stepsister and I talked often. I visited them in late 2013 on my way home from a harrowing cross-country trip for the funeral of a young man who died in my home, and saw them last almost seven months ago here during a short but very enjoyable visit.

Last week during a chat, I learned that brother-in-law was to go for some testing. None of us had any inkling that a major stroke awaited him. I earned this via e-mail from one of stepsister's friends whom she has designated her point person for questions, last evening. He is non-responsive, under hospice care and is expected to die within days. Though I have spoken to a daughter-in-law, stepsister is in shock and unavailable. I have spent the last two days quietly at home, waiting, and hoping that her children, friends, neighbors and others who attend them will do so gently as stepsister is easily overwhelmed at the best of times.

I hope the kind and generous man she married and whom she adored is at peace as he leaves us. It is hard to fathom life without him. I worry for her, their children and his sister and her family, all of whom will bear the brunt of this loss.