Broken...

 My smile broke yesterday as the crown on my right front tooth shattered as I was eating a vegan deli sandwich from Publix. That was the first food from a deli or anywhere else outside my house that I've consumed since March of 2020. I am so upset at having to go to the dentist...I look like someone punched me in the mouth and crowns are very expensive. I am also worried about being around other people in a waiting room in which they may not mask and having to organize a way to get there with someone who will. Damn!

Aside from that, have any of you ever re-connected with someone from your past? There is more behind this question. Several weeks ago I received a call from an acquaintance asking if I knew any CPAs. I did but they were in the wrong locale for her. I recalled a college friend and suggested that person but said I had no contact information. After Googling the name, she called back, saying that she had emailed me the link to what she thought was his obituary, and after viewing it myself. she was sadly correct. While there was no address listed for his wife with whom I was friends my freshman year, I eventually located one and sent a card.

 Although I attended their wedding in 1979 and always thought of them fondly, I was twenty when they graduated and married and still finding my way. I had no clear picture of the future and no idea what I should do beyond graduation and we lost touch. Fast forward to the present, and I received a very sweet card in return, along with a phone number.  Though our chat was brief, I'm looking forward to more of them and have sent another card as my friend is having a surgery this week. I was reminded for that small space of time what it feels like to extend myself to someone and be welcomed and accepted in return, a feeling I rarely experience these days. 

I also realize a tendency to perhaps let people go too easily and wonder whether that is a pattern formed of having moved to several neighborhoods and attended different schools without a real peer group as a kid...

Three New Reads

 Three recently concluded books include Lisa Wingate's The Book of Lost Friends, and two memoirs in the genealogy arena by Bill Griffeth, The Stranger in My Genes and Strangers No More.

A former journalist, Wingate's love of story is evident as she traces a family and its town from post-Civil War Reconstruction through the late 1980's, untangling the relationships of ancestors, slaves and former slaves to a prominent white family and former plantation in Louisiana. All of Wingate's books evolve from actual events and pieces of history and this is no different in that regard. I enjoyed this book and though the stories were compelling and thought provoking. yet it was really how the book came about which surprised me/ If you are a fan of history and  a well written story. give this a go.

Genealogists and those interested in family history and what is now termed genetic genealogy will appreciate two related memoirs by  retired CNBC financial analyst. Bill Griffeth, who discovers through a commercially available DNA test that the man who raised him was not his biological father and this sets him on a path of both historical and self discovery. Among other things these books provide a snapshot of a man and his mother coming to terms with the truth of a long held secret which but for DNA testing would not likely have come to light. the confusion and pain that ensues and the path toward acceptance and meeting new relatives while integrating a new history following his mother's passing. Insightful and thought provoking.

Soup's on, the cat is in dreamland and I am looking forward to a snooze.

How are you doing today??

Thanks for Pink Martini

The band, not the drink. Blogger Duta posted a video of this band featuring a  number by Storm Large, It was a real pick-me-up and had me happily rolling in my chair this afternoon. I liked it so well, I played it twice, along with another instrumental of theirs.

After being up early and surviving laundry day, cat clean up, making the bed with clean sheets which is a bit tricky, and doing some cooking, I had a cup of tea and the leftovers from my vegetable platter dinner the other day. I will be doing that again since it is so simple and good. 

Tomorrow is soup day, and I'm hoping for an early night and sweet dreams.

Cheers!

Happy Valentine's Day

 

Wishing all of my readers a sweet day with loved ones. human and otherwise.

Yum!

 In case you are wondering, I had a "no cook" dinner. Sliced tomatoes. cucumber. olives and baby carrots a la Limoge and served with hummus. Feta cheese and crackers. The best part other than the enjoyment?? Very little clean up.

Happy Sunday and have a great week!

Pet Parade

 Samantha 1993-2008

 In November, I sent photos of Lukas to a company which makes canvas pet portraits. His turned out so well that I attempted to do the same with photos of all of the other cats I've raised in the last 30 years. I will be hanging them together in pride of place as soon as I find a good spot. In the meantime:

Jacob 2001-2017

Phoebe 2000-2016

Lukas

Angel 1996-2012

What's Cooking

 I was craving some soup, shrimp and vegetables over the weekend. so I shifted my meal plans for the week to accommodate these items. Stir-fry was first up. followed by non-koi pond soup as you can see below.

Lots of mixed veg, noodles, broth and the last of the canned chicken from hurricane supplies I am attempting to use up as they are slightly beyond use by or best by dates.

Among the nutrients and antioxidants in shrimp are some B vitamins, choline, selenium and zinc, While I do not eat it often, shrimp was a staple in childhood and when I have to have some, I do.

The stir-fry is fresh carrot, cabbage, kale, sliced Brussel sprout, pea pod and Bok choy. 

What do you crave these days??

Miscellany

The last few days have given me a to-do list and much to think about. The 5th was the forty-first anniversary of my stepfather's death. Career Army and a complicated man, he was the only dad I had. Sixteen years older than my mother, I was not quite six when he appeared with toys and candy at the start of an extended courtship with my mother. They married the week I turned ten. Following a heart attack just months into this second marriage, our location in the tropics was to be his last for active duty  He was thereafter a civil service employee in the same position until after my high school graduation and the start of college. Retirement meant a return to the US. Little did I know that he would not live to see college graduation, dying at age 58 in my final semester. I was 22, and shaken, not only by the circumstances of his sudden loss but of the implosion of my mother's life as well. 

He was not easy to deal with and we often clashed. His adult children found him challenging to  deal with and as a teenager, I was way too moody and hormonal to garner much more than a stream of sarcasm or criticism from either parent. 

I hope he would have been proud to take the role of dad and provider and content when I could face the world as an adult, but I'll never know.

I lit a candle in silent acknowledgement of his passing and offered thanks for the travel, education and material things he felt were important to provide and show love.

From him learned the need to tell people you love them, something he found difficult. I hope when I leave this world that anyone I've left behind knows without question that I genuinely cared for them,

Groundhog Day

 Six more weeks of winter? More soup for me! I hope everyone has had a good day and is enjoying a decent week. Awakened before first light, I'm looking forward to sunset and an early night following my meditation class via Zoom.

Cheers!

Sweet smelling

 I've decided to establish a flower fund so I could enjoy whatever is on sale at the local market for under six bucks. My friend bought these and left them on the doorstep Sunday. They have opened nicely!

Cheers!

Three New Reads...

The latest reads were all on a related subject and began because a friend recommended a novel entitled Before We Were Yours by journalist and author Lisa Wingate. A fictionalized account of the work and crimes of Georgia Tann, the story is told from several perspectives, including that of a twelve year old girl who, along with her siblings, is kidnapped from their boat on the river in Memphis, Tennessee. The kids are stashed in a holding house and sold off to prospective parents for large sums of money. Their parents who are at the hospital delivering twins are told the babies were stillborn when in fact each was also taken and sold to adoptive parents. Abuse while in stash houses was also common.

Tann popularized adoption via adverts, speeches and public appearances and was sought after for her opinion on so-called closed adoption policy, a legacy which remains today. Under the protection of Edward H. "Boss" Crump's political machine which included lawyers, judges, some doctors and social workers, Tann's tactics and her wealth and power remained for twenty-five years, cloaked in secrecy, despite mounting concerns, until her death in 1950 on the heels of Crump's outsture from state and local politics.  Tann died before she could face any charges stemming from the investigation launched by the then recently elected Tennessee governor Gordon Browning.

The second book, Before and After, also by Wingate and journalist colleague Judy Christie, details the childhoods and adult lives of several so-called Tann babies who take part in a reunion. Some of the stories are heart wrenching. Others left me angry.

The third book is one used by Wingate in her research, The Baby Thief by Barbara Bisantz Raymond. An adoptive parent, Raymond writes extensively about Tann, her life, her view of children as commodities for power and profit and her impact on adoption policy in America. Raymond neither shirks from the details of Tann's criminality nor  does she mince words when saying that Tann lacked empathy, flouted existing laws to suit herself. is known to have abused children and appeared to lack a conscience. out of which the need for secrecy, falsifying birth certificates and other policies grew. While some states now allow open adoptions or open records, many do not and baby brokering still exists as does the belief that young. single women should surrender their children to wealthier, married couples. Raymond points out that prior to Tann, who worked from 1920 to 1950, adoption efforts focused on finding the home for the child rather than the child for the home.