Wednesday, May 27, 2015

On Ice, For the Moment...

My left arm and hand, the one with which I write, are being iced due to strain. My apologies for infrequent posting but I will resume as things improve. Enjoy what is left of the week.

Until Next Time...

Monday, May 18, 2015

How Are You Today?

That is such a simple question, and yet, it can be loaded with everything from intense emotion to basic curiosity or merely the desire to seem socially appropriate. I was asked this today by a friend who frequents my home and social circle. Because I know she is grieving a recent loss, I hesitated, a bit too long as it turned out, before she looked at me, and I heard myself saying,"I feel like my sad button is permanently in the on position and I do not know how to change it."

She replied along the lines of it is no wonder with all the stuff you put up with alone...and the conversation went on about the state of my home, poor workmanship from licensed folks who should know better and my wish to finally have everything done and to not have to worry about it anymore...

Of course, that is just the surface of things here. The real issues rest with my own grieving. Just when I think that it may be concluding, another goodbye to someone I have loved, liked, worked with or cared about in some way, presents itself as it did again just days ago.

Is it possible to have "grief fatigue?" How else to explain the weight of tiredness twinned with the longing to feel something other than sadness or shock? Death will come for all of us, one way or another, a fact I thought I could accept. Lately, however, I believe that death has been stalking and depleting the ranks of my friends and loved ones with abandon and what I feel is a drained sense of disquiet, something very far from acceptance. That's all I've got today.

The nest is a mess and so are its creatures.

How are you?

Monday, May 11, 2015

Fixed...For Now...

This is what the closet looked like Saturday night. My neighbor, who built it, came over after work to take a look and said he would get some different anchors and put things right when he was off today.

That was done quickly and efficiently this afternoon. He felt bad about how this DIY turned out and asked me to let him know if further problems occur. I have a free consultation with a closet contractor/designer this week. I'll see what she has to say. Things are holding for now.

Saturday, May 9, 2015

The Tale of the Collapsing Closet...

Well, as you might surmise from that post title, things in my newly-built closet have gone strangely awry. I took something light from the shelf and attempted to scoot an empty small flight bag down on its side when one section of the shelf collapsed. The entire set up is now listing badly to one side. Since it is the Saturday before Mother's Day, everyone I've called is out, so I'm just hoping that the hanging clothing and the rest of the shelving stay where they are for now. Have I mentioned what a pain this closet has been since I moved in sixteen years ago? This will be the fourth attempt to make it work...

I will keep you posted (pun intended).

Happy Mother's Day to all who celebrate.

Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Chasing My Tail...

No, that post title does not mean any law enforcement person, public official or government agency is after me. It is the phrase I use to indicate ending up back where I started after lengthy time and research on the Internet.

After e-mailing other bloggers, checking websites and reading reviews for a piece of wheelchair equipment, I discovered that it is designed to move more easily as well as handling grass, dirt and other outdoor surfaces. It isn't great on loose sand and I may still have a hard time with uneven curb cuts, but packed sand and other forms of terrain are okay and I may be able to use a specialized rack. All of this is providing I can find a distributor to let me know if it fits my chair and then come up with the money to pay for it.

I also researched and purchased a bed which was delivered Saturday. After years of sleeping on a futon mattress that was no longer comfortable or in any way supportive, my back no longer hurts when I get up in the morning. The deeper mattress requires deep pocket fitted sheets. Following misadventures in two brick and mortar stores, it was back to Amazon for me. The sheets came today and should fit.

The broken blinds in the front room have been replaced and my closet doors, which date from 1974, are next on the list for replacement as they are warped. Additionally, after careful consideration, I decided to try and find a reputable organization that does tree plantings in memory of a lost loved one.

 In this case, it was a special blogger friend who loved trees. Hours on the Internet left me inundated with information and several choices, none of which were do-able in her country. I went to many forestry and arboreal oriented websites and ultimately made a small donation in her name. Every dollar buys a single tree. She would approve.

Apart from all of this, I have been writing--and binge watching the newest episodes of Longmire, based on the books by Craig Johnson. If anyone had told me at some earlier point in my life I'd be writing about such mundane things, I'd have laughed...

Good Evening.