My apologies to anyone forced to re-live their dental traumas as a result of my last post. As someone who has not had employer-provided dental coverage in twenty years, I save a lot of money by visiting my dentist and hygienist quarterly. My mouth has never felt better and it is one of the best investments one can make toward keeping natural teeth in old age.
The question in the title for this post is not rhetorical. Defining the "good life" is different for each of us. Yet, when asked, many of us describe a very monied life of luxury. I think that money only takes one so far...
What I want is not to jet off to exotic destinations, though there is nothing wrong with travel or living abroad. Having done both, the security and contentment that stems from being happy where I find myself at this day and time seems far more important. After all, I'm the one who gains or suffers from financial or other life decisions. Being a wealthy malcontent only means that one can more easily hide from problems or priorities, not that they will magically vanish in a sea of green.
Understanding one's motives for spending or saving is only part of a multi-layered question, much like looking at one's consumer debt and then realizing that the consumerist trappings--clothing, furniture, jewelry, electronics, gadgets and all of the other things we tell ourselves we need--can indeed trap us. Revolving interest, compounding and constant spending all lead to stress, insecurity and problems living. There is no enjoyment in such a scenario and yet it is seductive, judging by rising levels of consumer debt.
Some of us, if we are fortunate, eventually come to the realization that we either need more money to support how we are choosing to live, and go after whatever opportunities exist for attaining it, or make different choices. An increasing number of us face extremely limiting choices due to age, lack of education or other factors related to poverty. The "good life" and the "hard work" we've been taught to aspire to that is supposed to save us from lives of debt often no longer provide as much as they once did, leaving many of us defeated or confused.
How many of you know someone who works three jobs and still cannot afford health insurance? How many of you have ever spoken to a young person who cannot afford the dentist or an eye exam even when working full time? How many of you have seen an elderly neighbor reduce medication so that food can be purchased or pay Meals on Wheels to receive one hot meal per day and attempt to live on Insure for the remainder?
I've seen all of these and more where I live, and the situation isn't much better elsewhere from what I've been told by friends who live in various communities. While the answer to the original question starts with each of us as individuals, it does not end there if the definition of a "good life" involves security as in having a roof over one's head, reasonable rents, affordable food and medicine and the contentment that comes with feeling safe.
There is a distinct difference between miserliness and frugality. The former promises us nothing except stress while the latter can and often does provide a path to freedom from debt and the worry that arises from it. Planning and management are both important if one is to re-pay or avoid debt. Another closely related caveat, and one with which a lot of us struggle: the need to own more or the feeling that what we have or who we are may never be enough.
Just how one banishes such beliefs is at the core of living well. Ending the bombardment of advertising that tells us what we want, how we should look and feel and offers constant comparison to others, is one thing all of us can do. Choosing who and what we listen to is another. Limiting time on social media can also help in this regard. A valuable last step is to finally realize and value who we are beyond the roles prescribed for us or those we seek out in an effort to earn or impress. This allows what we truly value and who we are to come to the fore. That is how best to direct the remaining choices in our lives.
Easy? Not...But worth every ounce of sweat, misgiving or misstep involved in the process.
6 comments:
I used to think that living the good life was having a mortgage and credit cards so I could "afford" whatever I wanted whenever I wanted it. Boy, were my eyes open once I realized that I had become a slave to the bank and credit card companies!
Nowadays, living the good life for me means that I have the security of knowing that our home is paid off, and that if we have an emergency, we have money in the bank so there's no reason to panic. It also means that for now we enjoy relatively good health and have good life insurance that we can afford. It mostly means that we can afford for me to be home, taking care of our home and cats and teen. Our life is actually quite simple but feels very luxurious, even though these days we have no debt and no desire to accrue debt for any reason. I do think that a certain feeling of contentment came with age and as a result of having had the opportunity to experience certains things earlier in my life too. I feel sorry for people who never had the opportunity to live abroad, or do a little travel, go to a concert, a play, a museum, the beach, ride a horse, play a sport, go to the movies or a theme park, for instance. I worked for almost a year at our very poor local elementary school and the vast majority of our students had never ever been to a museum or even the public library, which is just a mile away from the school. It's mind-boggling to me and I did grow up poor (My mom, siblings and I lived in the projects for a good part of my childhood and didn't have a car or even a phone). And then I realized that despite my differences with my dad, I'm so thankful to him that he exposed my brothers and me to so many different things when we were growing up. My life is richer today thanks to my past experiences, definitely, both good and bad. I strive to keep it that way by not participating in social media activities beyond blogging :) I stopped, a long time ago, to compare my life with others'. There's always someone better off than you, happier than you, smarter than you, thinner than you, healthier than you. Some things you can change, others you can't.
I'm trying to provide my children with the financial advice that I never received as a teen or young adult, in the hope that they skip my mistakes and get to "live the good life" a little sooner than I did!
Thanks for your comment. You packed a lot in and all of it relevant. I too have discovered that simplicity can feel like luxury and defining what "good" is for myself. It also allows to give back to community so that the kids you mention may have opportunities outside of school.
If the basics are covered, I'm satisfied. I've never lived an extravagant life and I've never felt deprived. I enjoy simplicity and connecting with nature. That is a good life to me.
I agree, though parts of my life have always been a bit complicated, I enjoy my home, my pets and any friends that come around. I feel fortunate in those things.
I often wish human comfort and security did not revolve around finances. I wish I were more enlightened.
I think the secret to happiness has a lot to do with contentment -- there are people who are NEVER content, and I think they struggle. And there are people who are inherently content, even with relatively little, and they do pretty well. I realize some people genuinely struggle with not having enough, and that's something else entirely -- but learning to live modestly and be happy about it is a valuable skill.
Post a Comment