I seem to have hit a wall writing-wise these last weeks. I'd open an empty page full of anticipation only to find myself staring at a sea of white and wondering why I was suddenly wordless. For those that know me, you also know that this conundrum rarely occurs. When it does, it is as though I am somehow set adrift, no bearings, no destination and no fixed point on which to focus. I'm wondering if this is due to under stimulation, lack of sleep since I only seem to slumber in short bursts these days or something else.
I am also curious about this phenomenon. How many of you have experienced this and what if anything did you do about it? Life is so topsy-turvy sometimes. It is worth remembering to laugh...
So, the last three weeks...
Just for kicks one day I took a bus ride and ended up having to call a friend to come and pick me up...Our bus system has always been bad and this brief trip confirmed my fears that things are not improving. While on the bus, however, another rider asked me about my chair. When things segued into the personal and I said I was effectively retired, this was met with, "Well, then, you have no reason to be anywhere."
I found this a rather strange response and pulled out a beat up paperback for the remainder of the trip, thus avoiding further interaction. Do any of us need reasons to be where we are? Friends, community, pets, family, partners?
When I landed in this area courtesy of my parents and my pursuit of post secondary education in the late seventies, I'd always pictured myself eventually leaving to start my adult life somewhere else. While I've attempted to escape for jobs in other cities, friends in need or short visits elsewhere, this has become some strange version of home with which I've never quite attained contentment. I wonder now if I ever will or if I am destined, like some I've encountered, to never find my hearts' home?
Until Next Time...
15 comments:
Hopefully the person who said that meant it in a somewhat positive way, as in, you have more freedom to be wherever you want to be. Or something like that!
Sometimes I open a blog window in the morning and wonder what the hell I'm going to write about. I always just start typing and something emerges -- usually not very deep or challenging. Ha!
From the tone and body language, I don't think so...kinda why I nipped things in the bud by taking out the book. I tried just typing and came up with zilch...nada...strange sensation for someone who used to write under deadline for clients every day for years.
Sigh on the oxygen thieving fellow traveller.
When my mind/creativity go out to lunch without me I wait. And wait some more. So far they have deigned to come back to me. Eventually.
Oh, EC, I so love that image!!! Thank you!
I have not been writing much either. I think about posts all day long but when I go to write I go blank.
I love reading details, the tinier the better. I find editing so very bloody difficult though, I am balking at many editing jobs (unpaid) at the moment, including my own work. I hate rehash.
The dung of a 1000 camels on that insensitive's house. No reason. Ha!
XO
WWW
Perhaps the person was saying that you have no particular reason to be anywhere on time? No deadline? We have to be somewhere, anywhere, at any time, we may even take a bus to get there.
As for writer’s blockI have been in that strange place for the past six or more months. I am pushing my luck even continuing with the blog and have long given up a piece of writing which at one time was very important to me.
When there are problems in life my resources dry up and all I can manage to do is read escapist novels, one after the other, rather than literary books. When the mood lightens I eventually get back to a semblance of meaningful writing without more effort than just sitting down to do it.
Thank you for your kind comment, you flatterer!
Birdie,
Your writing is from the gut and often funny...Maybe you should carry paper and pen and jot things down as you can.
You never know what people are thinking, do you? Camel dung indeed. Best of luck with your transition.
Perhaps you'll get back to writing as things clear? I'm sorry too that you say you are pressing your luck continuing to blog...I hope whatever impedes you resolves quickly. I too have my escape in books sometimes. As for flattery, I never do that! (LOL!)
Sometimes people don't express themselves well when they speak and it comes out totally different than what they meant to say! I wonder if that was the case here.
It's hard to keep a blog going regularly, isn't it? There are days when I can't think of a single thing to share. On those days I sometimes create some silly post to be done with it!
I have recently had some trouble posting. For me it was that I didn't want to share what was top of mind, too depressing and self-absorbed, and then it was that things were happening with a young friend that I couldn't share, and then it was that I was somewhat sick of myself, and couldn't imagine anyone would want to read anything I had to say. But then I get back to the fact that I write to process my life, and as a record of what happens, and its ok if not everything I write is of interest to a reader, I need to just keep going. I really like Elephant Child's solution--to wait it out, and wait some more. Wise soul.
That empty page feeling is more normal to me than the overflowing feeling...
I don't like that comment you got on the bus at all. I'm at home with the children and get similar comments from people all the time. Some people don't understand that valuable events go on outside of paid work.
Hmm. I'm retired and have just been sitting here wondering if I don't have a reason for being anywhere. It sure would save on makeup, clothing (pajamas are so comfortable) and could toss out my date book. If you find the bus-lady, ask her if she will write me a note so excuse me from social engagements that I am really not into!
I agree!
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