Yesterday was horrible and I am numb with disbelief...
A much-adored former neighbour whom I treated like a son came to visit Thursday afternoon and planned to stay the weekend. After a nine-hour drive, he suggested a favourite spot at which to eat and catch up. We then decided a trip to the beach was in order and after getting gas, dropping off the leftovers at home and changing, we headed out and over the bridge to a gorgeous sunset and a stroll on the paved ADA walk along the beach, then decided to stroll the artisan-lined pier and see what we could see.
We stopped for cold drinks and ice cream and took a restroom break. As we resumed our adventure, he chatted to his mother and partner on his mobile phone. The only strangeness of the night's events was a sudden need to stop and vomit, after which my young friend claimed to be fine. Always the sceptic, I pressed him to visit a doctor's walk-in or urgent care. He refused and we had an uneventful ride home, going to sleep around midnight.
After getting up once in the wee hours, I went back to bed, sleeping until almost lunch time. I got up, fed animals, took out the previous days' refuse, showered and dressed and then got a call from my friend's partner. When I queried whether it was usual for him to sleep so late, his partner rather jokingly responded that I should check for breathing.
Making my way to an extremely darkened front room, I discovered my friend was unresponsive and called 9-11 in a panic. The next several hours found me outside my small flat as EMS, sheriff, forensic specialists, a detective and medical examiners made the rounds and an investigation into the death of a thirty-year-old overweight man with the biggest heart and kindest spirit I have ever known began.
Once they all departed, I talked with both his partner and his mother, who now await autopsy results. I have slept and eaten little and feel leaden. It is hard to put words to my feelings. Sadness is a weight in the pit of my stomach. I pray for his mother and his love of fourteen years...
13 comments:
oh goodness...how horrible...i am sorry for your loss...but even more so that it happened in your house...
i dont know what to say otherwise...
Deeply personal brushes with death are overwhelmingly awful as I know from personal experience. When it happens, one of the few things that can come even close to reassurance is this knowledge - that others have felt, are feeling, and will survive similar feelings. Further words fail me.
Oh, that is TERRIBLE! I am so sorry you've had to go through that. Please keep in mind you did everything you could possibly do and don't feel responsible. I feel so sorry for his partner and family, and I am sorry you had to endure such an experience. Please write to me if you feel the need.
That was terrible....for you, finding him...for his you, his partner and mother losing him.
I'm thinking of you and wishing I could do something to help.
You poor thing, it must have been an awful shock for you and a terrible loss for all the relatives and friends of your guest. Be strong, your friend would have wanted it.
What a horrible thing to have happen. I honestly don't know how I'd respond. Blessings to you.
I am so sorry this has happened. How are you holding up? If there is any comfort to be had, let it be that he died beloved, and in the home if one who cared for him as a son. Still, I know you are hurting. My love and prayers.
What a shocking experience, after the lovely afternoon and evening. As you say, you suggested he go to a doctor after the vomiting attack but he didn't want to. So what was the cause of death exactly? Did he already have a medical condition?
Still having problems with commenting, btw. I can get the comments box at work but not at home. Weird.
How are you doing dear e?
Now here's something strange. Your blog suddenly appeared at the bottom of my blogroll, without my putting it there! Not only that, but I can now access your comment box from my home pc. Spooky!
I am so sorry that I did not spot this post before. Your blog has not appeared on my reader. This is the most horrible imaginable experience. I am so sorry. How are you doing now, some time after this dreadful event? You have not posted since.
I saw that you commented over on Nick's blog....I do hope that this heralds a return to blogging and wish you well.
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