I'm Not Dead, But I Am Terrified...

The last weeks have been a roller coaster of insomnia, followed by exhaustion. My focus and function at such times goes down the toilet, so most days have been spent simply on chores, self and pet-care and reading or meditation.

Home is a refuge from madness beyond its walls over which I have little or no control. Life, however, has thrown a curve ball into the mix because my internet has been dicey and now, my refrigerator, which is barely three years old, is acting up. 

I defrosted the freezer portion yesterday after what looked like a small blizzard happened inside. This took only a few minutes and I assumed things would be fine despite the compressor being louder than normal, then quieting.

I was wrong, as I eventually discovered that while the freezer was cold, the refrigerator was barely cool. Today, the loudness resumed and there was a faint smell within.

After calling the dealer and getting the names of two repair companies, I left two unanswered messages. This evening, I called a contractor who will come here sometime tomorrow, pull this out, take measurements, purchase a new unit and put it in, providing he can find one. Though he has an appliance person he consults with, both he and I feel that the worry over possible continuing problems is not something either of us want to deal with.

Most of the perishable food has been unceremoniously bagged and dumped since food poisoning isn't something I want to chance, either. All of this is a pain in the budget.

My plan is to either stay in the bedroom or to remain outdoors while he is here and talk if necessary by phone. I will clear the counter and remove the remaining refrigerated items before he arrives and put Lukas in the bedroom. If the neighbors are about, the bedroom, locked and masked, may be the best I can do.

Thanks for your concern and be well.

Peaceful Protests Followed By Riots, Arrests

That title sums up what happened in my city over the weekend. I know of one vigil planned for today. Heart wrenching doesn't begin to cover the depth or range of feelings I'm experiencing as a bystander and the maelstrom sparked by the death of George Floyd and the hideous behavior by some of those sworn to protect and serve, will not end there. Of that I am certain. A city-wide curfew has been instituted. The most poignant photo I've seen is of a kid, masked, holding a sign which reads, "Stop Killing Us."

While the original protests were peaceful and escorted by law enforcement without riot gear, some who were there have since claimed the riots which followed to be largely the work of infiltrators. Coming amid a pandemic, more lives may yet be lost. The fact that people feel compelled to gather at this time is a reflection of anger over the racism that has been endemic to this country since its origins. 

Our governor has activated the Florida National Guard who today remain in several cities, including my own.

It seems surreal.